Second Childhood

Often, our spirit is usually light years away from the heaviness of the mind…wanting to let go of past pain, stagnant relationships and even ego…but we mentally hold on…we hold on because we never thought freedom was possible, and we are so used to how things have been that change can actually be “painful.” I’m learning that life is not “happening to me”…it’s teaching me beyond my limited scope of thinking that I have more of an active part in it than I ever thought…

I’m ready to put my superwoman cape back up in my closet and allow it to collect dust. I miss being vulnerable, open and free. I’m over being “tough” on the exterior, it’s not fun anymore…I want to rest easy in the arms of life’s beautiful moments, no longer feeling the need to protect my softness but share it. The lessons have been learned, oh yes indeed they have and writing about my journey has been more than a release. I can’t wait to embrace what’s next…

Letting_Go2

 

No words…just emotion

Some cannot accept the intensity of me…the waxing and waning of my emotions, often makes folks flee…but that is okay. I’m not a “one size fits all” kind of woman and so it is fine by me. You won’t catch me crying tears over you, but I will see you again, trust me and when I do, it is you that will be crying. I do love you and I always will, but you just have too strong of a will. You want things your way, no matter what I do or what I say. Any day but today, I would have been okay with that logic, but you can take that and kick rocks with it. Let me shine for a damn change, stop blocking me with your clouds of gloom and doubt when what I really want to do is shout to the top of my lungs, sing my song that has yet to be sung. Oh you get it now? Great, because the “explanation” bit has grown quite old…and we both know that we are too mature for such childish antics. So let me scoot on with the quickness, I don’t want to miss this life, waiting around for you to feel “alright”…

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Moon Tears

Early this morning and late last night, I watched her…she rose, then she set. She was so powerful and my emotions felt her pull. Light was shed in the places that I had kept hidden for so long. This morning I took a picture of her leaving the early morning sky, disappearing behind the trees. To me it was kind of symbolic of closing chapters in my life that I have completed. For a moment, I was overwhelmed but felt better after shedding some tears; allowing my soul to grow and breathe.

lagrimas de la luna

I knew that this moon would be intense for I felt her weeks before she even emerged. I couldn’t figure out why I was in protective mode of myself, like a turtle’s hard shell protecting its soft body. I spent time alone, writing when I felt the urge, creating a vision board, and clearing my space. Music and meditation helped me tremendously and so did expressing my emotions. Sometimes, I want to be so involved in the act of planting seeds and watching them grow that I forget to be patient with myself, for I too am a seed trying to find fertile ground.

lotus

A beautiful sister of mine once told me that Scorpio is not a sign that is “in between”, it is not “lukewarm”, it is all the way hot, or all the way cold. That is just how I felt with this moon’s energy. There is not a minute more to waste on “contemplating” or being indecisive, I am clear and okay with the clarity I have and I welcome even more experiences to grow from. I watched her rise last night as the air blew all around me, she pushed through the clouds and boldly commanded attention to her magnificent, sensual beauty. And now for the next phase…continuing to focus on aspects of my life that have changed. It is so easy to relinquish and give in at times, but this is not an attribute of a Scorpio moon. In her fullness, I step into my fullness, and the moon, regardless of the sign she is in, always helps me to remember this most beautiful truth.

Love, Light and Full Moon Blessings!