Reflecting on the Past, loving the Present; embracing the Future

I wrote this piece some time ago…I took it out and read it today, feeling so drawn to the words and also reflective; noting the changes that have taken place since I’ve written this…

“She is a “good” woman by society’s standards; she is happily married, with two beautiful children, lives in a wonderful community, works part-time, writes in her spare time and loves to go out with her friends when she has “free” time. She feels so blessed and thankful for such a rich life. Family and friends that are as close to her heart as the moon is to the stars. She ponders life often, wonders about its mysteries and feels excited about its many possibilities. She does her best to stay in the moment, enjoying the sunshine, the joy; going through the rain and sometimes the pain. Learning that sometimes, instead of trying to stay dry, she should let the rain pour over her and through her soul, symbolically cleansing what might be stagnant and old. The thing is, she settles; she makes excuses for herself and later regrets them, always masking how she really feels…She is trying to rise above the stress that has built up over time. She doesn’t want to keep doing the same thing and hoping for a different outcome, for that would be insanity. She will not be afraid, even when those she loves the most let her down…She has to turn things around, she often feels overwhelmed and heavy with so many changes in so little time. She wonders why at times she is treated like she committed a crime when all she did, wants to do and needs to do is be herself. There is such a place where she can be herself; for she knows it well, it is deep inside her soul. She has been, it is a place where she can laugh, smile and enjoy just being at peace with those around her. How freeing it is to be accepted…we should never take for granted the relationships we have with those who love us…who really love us and don’t waste precious time criticizing or fault-finding. Life is too short, leave words of love rather than words of fear or anger; for tomorrow is not promised.”


When I wrote this piece, I was having some inner turmoil, I knew that my life needed to change and soon. I have been a master at disguising my pain behind a smile, a laugh and even telling myself that I was okay when deep down, I wasn’t. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t just “be happy” with everything that I had in my life. But there are two things that cannot long be hidden; the moon and the truth…My truth was trying so hard to come out, but I suppressed it…and I suffered when I suppressed it…many things have changed in my life since, but it is truly an ongoing road for me…the journey has not ended, it has begun and I have been going places I never even imagined. I allowed myself to shine from the inside out, and it feels so freeing, so alive, so right. I love the woman I have become so far, she is a testament to BEing authentic and real.

Shifting into me

I feel like the energy we are in right now has slowed me down a bit more and I’m not sure how I am receiving this change. On one hand, I have been focusing more on listening to my body and being more in tuned with what is going on around me. On the other hand, I am at yet another crossroad and have to make some major decisions and fast because I have to keep going forward. I wanted to know what my next move was, I desired answers to my questions about tomorrow, the next day and even next year. Situations that I thought were going one way ended up going another way and I was beginning to get discouraged. It was during this time that I realized right now I am doing just what I am supposed to be doing, taking it all in. There are big changes manifesting, things that are working in my favor to push me into the life that I have always imagined. Spirit is making sure that I will be ready by tapping me on the shoulder and helping me to remember what is important right now. What is important is staying in the now and not being anxious about what I don’t know the answers to yet.


I have been thinking more about how beautiful life is though, and the things I may or may not always take for granted. I am thankful for my undying passion, my desire to stay the course no matter what. I have my moments but when it comes down to it, life is full of lessons. I’m thankful for the gift of laughter, it sounds small and we always hear that laughter is healthy but how many of us are really taking that truth to heart? I have been making it a point to bring more laughter in my life, knowing that it connects me with that inner child that will always need love and recognition. I thought about the abundance of love in my life, the acts of kindness that I receive, peace of mind, sight to behold the beautiful sunsets that cover the sky in ethereal beauty and so much more. When I wake, birds are outside of my window greeting the morning with their sweet songs that sprinkle my morning with just a little extra joy. The warm breeze that gently touches me when I am outside gardening in awe of how flowers open up to the sunlight without fail.


Deep inside I want to flow effortlessly with this changing energy, allowing it to navigate through my life and replace worry with faith that all is falling into its place. When I acknowledge those thoughts, I feel so good and I try to stay with them as long as I can. It hasn’t been too hard, especially knowing that change is a good thing right now. I can either fight or flow with it, intently focusing on what I long to see transpire.