Second Childhood

Often, our spirit is usually light years away from the heaviness of the mind…wanting to let go of past pain, stagnant relationships and even ego…but we mentally hold on…we hold on because we never thought freedom was possible, and we are so used to how things have been that change can actually be “painful.” I’m learning that life is not “happening to me”…it’s teaching me beyond my limited scope of thinking that I have more of an active part in it than I ever thought…

I’m ready to put my superwoman cape back up in my closet and allow it to collect dust. I miss being vulnerable, open and free. I’m over being “tough” on the exterior, it’s not fun anymore…I want to rest easy in the arms of life’s beautiful moments, no longer feeling the need to protect my softness but share it. The lessons have been learned, oh yes indeed they have and writing about my journey has been more than a release. I can’t wait to embrace what’s next…

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Unfurling majesty…

The sweetness of life…I am embracing the daily reminders and gifts of this journey. What have I learned lately? That words have amazing power…A plant does not have to “remember” to grow…it just does. Of course it needs nurturing, love and care…and affirmations from the gardener. Plants feel love and I do think that it helps them grow stronger. So it is with our spirits…with consistent and positive affirmations, our spirit draws closer to the light of our truths…our purpose, our deepest longings. My roots are deep in the ground and each day the Sun wakes me to a new day of promise, beauty and purpose…I will not wilt under pressure but be an unfurling majesty…

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Soul of a Butterfly

Let’s all get over criticizing ourselves based on past decisions…I will go first, please do follow. I promise that you will begin to feel fullness instead of hollow…Don’t allow others to trample your space by bringing up past actions that no longer have a place…Life is about learning, changing and growing…When we were little, there was that innocence and knowing. But we grow older and experience so much, we lose that purity from the world’s rough touch. Fly on sweet butterfly…don’t loose your magic, stay true to your soul’s mission and you will always have it…

butterfly-world

Moon Tears

Early this morning and late last night, I watched her…she rose, then she set. She was so powerful and my emotions felt her pull. Light was shed in the places that I had kept hidden for so long. This morning I took a picture of her leaving the early morning sky, disappearing behind the trees. To me it was kind of symbolic of closing chapters in my life that I have completed. For a moment, I was overwhelmed but felt better after shedding some tears; allowing my soul to grow and breathe.

lagrimas de la luna

I knew that this moon would be intense for I felt her weeks before she even emerged. I couldn’t figure out why I was in protective mode of myself, like a turtle’s hard shell protecting its soft body. I spent time alone, writing when I felt the urge, creating a vision board, and clearing my space. Music and meditation helped me tremendously and so did expressing my emotions. Sometimes, I want to be so involved in the act of planting seeds and watching them grow that I forget to be patient with myself, for I too am a seed trying to find fertile ground.

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A beautiful sister of mine once told me that Scorpio is not a sign that is “in between”, it is not “lukewarm”, it is all the way hot, or all the way cold. That is just how I felt with this moon’s energy. There is not a minute more to waste on “contemplating” or being indecisive, I am clear and okay with the clarity I have and I welcome even more experiences to grow from. I watched her rise last night as the air blew all around me, she pushed through the clouds and boldly commanded attention to her magnificent, sensual beauty. And now for the next phase…continuing to focus on aspects of my life that have changed. It is so easy to relinquish and give in at times, but this is not an attribute of a Scorpio moon. In her fullness, I step into my fullness, and the moon, regardless of the sign she is in, always helps me to remember this most beautiful truth.

Love, Light and Full Moon Blessings!

A year of healing…rekindling my spirit

We are coming to the ending of another year; 2014 and I’m reflecting on everything that has happened in my life. I really gained momentum towards the end of this year and I am ready now to gallop into 2015 as the horse I am. As I think about how this year has impacted me, I am filled with thankfulness. I stepped up and out of my fears and cleared the space for new pathways. Forgiveness wrapped herself around my heart and others when I opened up about things that had been hurting my soul for too long. Emotional healing took place and filled my Spirit with hope for the future. New relationships began this year and I realized how important human connection is with other kindred spirits and was moved by the authenticity of them. I experienced my first womb massage and energetic cleansing of my womb space. The experience allowed me to really tune into the inherent power I have as a woman and I felt more positively connected with my womb afterward.

 

womb

I wanted to release anything I had been holding so deep in my center in order to make room for new creativity and all of the potential there is. I thought of how letting go can be so strengthening to the mind, body and spirit even when it is difficult to do so. I had to let go of a lot of things…preconceived notions, relationships, fear, pain, anger and doubt. One doesn’t realize how much they are holding unto until they begin to feel lighter and actually see themselves in a new reality, one that doesn’t allow for baggage. My state of mind needed cleansing as well, from the excess “thoughts” that had taken up way too much space and time. Through affirmations, meditation, writing and finding new ways of communicating authentically, my mind has found healing. There has been doubt, there was hesitation and there was also anxiety as I went through these changes. It is not easy to break patterns that have been a way of life for so long, but it is indeed possible. I knew that in order to allow light to illuminate from within, I had to remove what has been blocking it so that it could shine. I learned more about myself as a woman and my purpose. I evaluated my current relationships and many epiphanies were revealed, much of the past came out in tears and also in anger as stagnant energy was released. The beauty of those moments was that, I could pinpoint why I was so sad, I connected the dots. I owned my emotions and disappointments, not putting myself down for those feelings but embracing myself with just a bit more empathy.  Communication became more important for me, more than it ever has before. Assumptions are bred from ignorance, misunderstandings and not communicating. The more I practiced ways of communicating authentically, the easier it became to express myself. I still have my moments, but I try not to take things so personally when it comes to communication. Time that was spent in the silence of nature so that I could also hear my own voice gave me life. Natures’ music touched my soul in the form of trees rustling, waves splashing, birds calling and serene breezes. There is excitement, anticipation and hope for the new year ahead. I see my path unfolding before me and I am ready to go wherever spirit leads me…

saeedakhtar

Emotional Prison

Recently, as time has passed, I have been in the energy of releasing the need to be emotionally locked in to my feelings and how they are expressed. Being in this emotional prison had me in a cycle of constant worry about how the things I expressed would be accepted. But why worry if I am operating from a place of love? When I’m operating from that genuine space, the masks are removed, it is just me and spirit. This is where I need to be always…in a place of authenticity. It is an ongoing journey, but I feel that so much growth has taken place inside my heart.

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She shines…evermore

Some days, I really don’t mind being misunderstood…for it is a testament to my life’s journey. Not everyone is meant to understand the destiny, the path that I am on and it is okay. I have memories of dimming my light to allow others to shine brightly, but then I began to “blend in” so to speak. My light became one in the same with those around me…One day, however, sparks of blue, pink, bright yellows and greens illuminated from within. I was a living kaleidoscope of new dreams, truths and beautiful realizations of who I am and all that I could think of was filling my spirit with more colorful experiences…

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There is now nothing more to fear other than fear itself. When I was afraid to shine my light in previous occasions, I was afraid of myself…afraid of reactions, intrigue and rejection to the Goddess I was becoming and am still blossoming into…

Still growing

“I am not my past mistakes.” Lately, I have felt the need to resonate with this mantra, especially when I hear my ego whispering; “haven’t you been down this road before?” But then my spirit counteracts that energy with, “you are not who you used to be; you have grown and are still growing, like a beautiful flower.”

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It’s Gemini Season!

“Gemini Twins”
I always get excited around this time of the year as the sun moves into the sign of Gemini. The days are luxuriously longer, evening walks abound and the sweet call of summer awaits me. I immerse myself in the energy surrounding the day I was born while being thankful to see another year of life and looking forward to a brand new year. It is also a time to reflect on the changes, the dreams I have for myself and most of all to embrace the steps I have taken since last year.
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I feel the desire to slow my pace and reflect on a cosmically deeper level about myself. Of course I plan to celebrate with all of my heart, but I also yearn to grow into the stage I am entering. There is a newness that I am longing to embrace, a time of youthful excitement even though I am getting older! Maybe it is that ever youthful spirit that Geminis are gifted with, that exuberance about life that we possess. What will I learn this year, what can I apply to my life that I feel more confident about now? I think of the stages I went through to get to where I am now. I still have farther to go though but the journey so far has been unforgettable. My priorities have changed, I view my experiences with new eyes and my fears are fading quickly. Life is just beginning for me again, on a spiritual, physical and emotional level.

Beautiful new feelings

I am finding it easier and easier to release what doesn’t resonate with me any longer. There is a wave of peace that has overtaken my spirit and given me new visions for my life. I see right now, I see myself blossoming into the goddess I have always wanted to be; independent, loving, artistic, confident in my stance, emotionally and passionately free. Embracing my truest self is the way home and what a beautiful feeling it is.

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