I am so happy that Spring is upon us…a time to give thanks for new life, fresh flowers, and warm weather. My “baby” girl also just turned 17! I did find myself pondering how quickly the time has flown since I became her mother. It is bittersweet knowing that I am entering into a new phase of motherhood, one where my nestlings are not so dependent on me and their Papa as much. It is of course very nice to have children that can do a lot for themselves but I still have my tearful moments. I’ve simply enjoyed being a Mom so much! Spring is a very special time and it means new babies abound in nature. 💛 It’s a beautiful time of year and a reminder that life is so fleeting, and so we must enjoy every minute…Happy Spring!☀️⚘🌻💚
When children are gently reminded that childhood is a time of magic, dreams and discovering who they are, they are more apt to embrace it.
….I don’t like to see children trying to be adults too soon…there will be time for that. Not everyone has a magical childhood, sometimes, the magic comes later…in discovering your power and loving your inner child the way he/she needed to be loved when you were a child. There is still time to explore your world and be happy.
Never ever forget the magic of discovery, the essence of a flower smelled for the first time, the sound of laughing way too hard and the purity of your spirit.
Just one more day…of Mercury’s retrograde, the first of this New Year and wow was it transitional for me. Usually, I go about my normal routine when I know a retrograde in Mercury is pending and I try very hard to be patient with myself. I’m a Gemini sun sign with Virgo rising and my Mercury is in Gemini, this is major for me! My three R’s come into play during the retrograde period; relax, review and remain calm as much as I can. However, during this particular retrograde, a new “R” came about; a reawakening. I was not expecting to invest so much emotionally during this retrograde, but I did, which was strengthening in a way. Especially connecting with my inner child and addressing things that caused painful memories. Creating a ritual that honored my little girl self gave way to forgiveness and allowing more room into my heart space for new experiences and love.
It was almost surreal; friends that I hadn’t seen in years came to my hometown and we connected, remembering times that seemed so far away from now. We shared laughs and stories of how we met, while watching our children interacting together as if time had never stopped for them. I thought of times when my life was transitioning and unfolding into new experiences; such as motherhood and so much more. Images, flashbacks and moments that have passed over the years suddenly were at the forefront of my life again as I remembered who I was, and who I still am but in a different capacity. I was deeply immersed in documentaries, books and discussions about the mystical aspects of life during this retrograde as well, just wanting to go deeper.
There was silence, yet my mind was noisy with thoughts that had never left me. I honored those memories and also honored the time I needed for clarity. I went to bed early some nights, wanting to write but not knowing how to get it all out. The inevitable feelings of anxiety about things I had been so sure of before the retrograde were tapping me on my shoulder for a different perspective and it was kind of exhausting. But I knew that trusting the process has been the best way forward so far. Thankfully the full moon in Leo was a very robust, joyful, enlightening and jovial moon and her balance was so welcome during this retrograde. So, while this time has most definitely been a major journey inward, I will relish the memories of it all as I make my way forward.
This weekend was beautiful…I watched my youngest daughter do a karate demo on Saturday afternoon and I teared up…mostly because I witnessed her really feeling her power from deep inside. The power that I tell her all the time that she possesses, but often has a hard time tapping into. I was really proud of her. She is dreamy, quiet, artistic, very intuitive and she most definitely has a voice that she will use when she wants to be heard…hmm, I wonder where she gets that from ;).
I saw a side of her, a glimpse of the powerful potential that she has and it really made me proud. My daughter did not know that I was having a “mom” moment, in which I silently remarked at how she has grown and thought about what she will be like as a woman. I just took it all in, grateful through and through for everything that has brought her this far and hopeful for what lies ahead in her young life. Here is to the memory makers, dream catchers and love creators…I salute you…
This summer, I took a road trip to Michigan while I was in Maryland to visit with some of my beautiful sisters and share in the energy of the New Moon in Leo. The vibe was lovely, the energy was radiant and I felt my spirit rise from the love I felt. I felt overcome with joy and laughter as I connected on an emotional level with other women; sharing a common bond was like water to my soul. The encouragement to freely embrace myself where I am in my life yet desire for more was laid upon my psyche like a reassuring warm blanket. I also felt warmth and security with my family in Maryland as I always do. I felt my spirit become energized with each laugh I shared, or loving glance and also as I watched my girls create their own memories this summer in Maryland with our family and friends. I cherished this time for I knew it would pass all too soon and it did. I made the drive back home to Florida, memories in tow and no tears were shed during the drive. However, as I typed this and remembered my time at the ocean last night to welcome the Full Moon, I cried. I knew it was a form of releasing and cleansing for my Spirit…and so I welcomed the tears.
My trip to Maryland allowed me the chance to nurture a part of myself that had subconsciously been forgotten. The mysterious part of myself that has a voice and has always been there, making me the woman I am. I have heard her speaking for so long, but I heard her as a whisper, barely audible. Had she been there all along awaiting her turn to be heard? For years I placed her neatly on a proverbial shelf, like a book, checking in with her once in a while. But most recently, this year to be exact, she shouted so long and so loud that I could no longer ignore her. She demanded recognition and attention and would no longer settle for anything less.
This summer, I remembered how, as a little girl, my intuitive and adventurous side led the way; and how connected I was to my feelings. I was not afraid of being in nature and I loved everything about it. Walking in the woods, swinging freely on rope swings and climbing trees high into the sky excited me to no end. Skinned knees from bike races, splinters or fear never stopped me for long. My passion was unwavering as a little girl. Often I would use the term “tomboy” to describe myself as a child, but I’d like to think that I was more spirited than anything else. As I took my girls to the home in Maryland where I spent my younger years, memories of running around the yard, picking juicy, dark blackberries off of the blackberry tree and hiding in the tall bamboo plants came rushing in. I warmly recalled how vibrant and enchanting it was to tap into those childhood memories. I also remember how much I had to say, at a very young age. I was aware of my voice and how speaking my thoughts caused either positive or negative reactions with those around me.
Somewhere along the way though, my voice quieted…It became easier to just say what others wanted to hear and be accepted than to really express myself and risk rejection or disapproval. I still had a voice, a passion and desire to be heard but the overwhelming need for approval took over and that need began to silence my spontaneity. My life experiences, quiet time alone, motherhood, my relationships, my losses and my undying will to dig deeper has kept me going and has awakened the sleeping Grizzly bear out of her slumber. I am a woman who finds passion in being her unique self and who has a voice that echoes like thunder if she wills it to. It feels so good to remember this about myself and to be among those who know their power and are not afraid of it.
I rekindled with that aspect of my being, vowing that I would never reject my true feelings; my voice. When we have done something for so long, without giving a thought to it, it becomes second nature; a habit. For a long time I was used to allowing others to speak for me, and thought it was okay because of who they were to me. I didn’t want to disappoint those that I loved and I didn’t want to disagree too often for it was too much work. But what happens inside when we take that route in life? The delicate balance inside of us becomes imbalanced, we lose our voice and along with it our power. I also learned that my voice could be expressed with nonverbal action. As much as I love to use words to create articles, poems and stories, I enjoy using action as a way to express myself even more.
My family road trip is now over. I have beautiful pictures and memories swirling around in my head to remember my journey. I also have a new path, more clarity and a voice that will speak volumes as everything begins to unfold around me. I have been among other beautiful souls who speak with strength, who move with grace and defined purpose and they are all my mirrors, my reflections. I cherish the time that I had to go deep within my spirit this summer. Now is the beginning of a new awareness about myself that I will embrace fiercely and purposefully. Love will continually be my guide. Peace and Light.