In MY warm embrace…

Upon recognizing her gifts…she slowly albeit excitedly began to open each one…feeling so warm and energized like the Sun.

She danced around ideas that before, made her feel afraid…she knew that the only way forward was to march to her own drum in the parade.

Opening herself to LIFE, bliss and sweet serenity…who is she?

She is unequivocally ME ❤

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Solar Return

I’ve journeyed far and wide…been places spiritually and physically where my soul chose to hide…but now I start fresh, my spirit has found unity and oneness in the love I have for myself. My 37th year has just begun, and I cannot wait to indulge in all of the fun, in every sense of the word…waiting for me, surrounding me and filling me with glee. I am so ecstatic about being the one and only me…

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Relationships; then and now

Relationships have really been in my thoughts; manifesting them, creating them and evaluating the ones I currently have in my life. How are they benefiting my growth? In what ways have I changed? Am I holding on to relationships that I have outgrown just for the sake of familiarity? Am I allowing myself to fully be open to new relationships that will nurture my spirit in a way that I need it most?

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These are not always the easiest questions to even ask of myself, but they are necessary. In the past, I have held onto relationships way past their “due date” and would totally be in another world even when the signs were there that it was just time to let go…but how? There are a million ways to let go or even steer a relationship in a new direction, but it truly depends on where we are emotionally and mentally. I think the way we identify with who we are to a person sometimes can cloud our judgement. What to do when things change? I once wrote a letter to someone I was in a relationship with; not seeing this person physically and knowing that I would not again. I read it out loud; through watery eyes as if they were right in front of me; the emotions that were tied to this person were so strong…hence the tears. I then burned the letter and washed the bits of it down the drain…this was the beginning…I stopped communicating with them, not out of anger but out of necessity…I had to move on. Sometimes, that is what is needed.

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The love I had for this person was now returned to me…so that I could get the boost I needed at such a difficult time. After a while, I felt peace, knowing I created my own way of letting go. When I’m with someone and I’m at my best; I can say anything, do anything, share anything and just be emotionally free; I sense that the relationship is like food to my soul. When laughter is abundant and eye contact brings smiles, when I don’t even care about the miles, I know I am in a good space. When I can communicate my thoughts, share my wildest and deepest dreams; I feel like there is no limit to the potential that a relationship can have. I used to regret being in certain relationships, wishing I had never “wasted my time” or even finding fault with my decisions of the past. But everyone is a teacher, everyone that comes into my life is meant to show me something and I’m also meant to be a teacher for them…it may be the hardest lesson, it may be easy, but nevertheless, it is all about perspective. These days, I envision my relationships with love and full of life; present, future and even past ones; with a hint of forgiveness so that I can truly move on. After all, Love is Free…

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Reflecting on the Past, loving the Present; embracing the Future

I wrote this piece some time ago…I took it out and read it today, feeling so drawn to the words and also reflective; noting the changes that have taken place since I’ve written this…

“She is a “good” woman by society’s standards; she is happily married, with two beautiful children, lives in a wonderful community, works part-time, writes in her spare time and loves to go out with her friends when she has “free” time. She feels so blessed and thankful for such a rich life. Family and friends that are as close to her heart as the moon is to the stars. She ponders life often, wonders about its mysteries and feels excited about its many possibilities. She does her best to stay in the moment, enjoying the sunshine, the joy; going through the rain and sometimes the pain. Learning that sometimes, instead of trying to stay dry, she should let the rain pour over her and through her soul, symbolically cleansing what might be stagnant and old. The thing is, she settles; she makes excuses for herself and later regrets them, always masking how she really feels…She is trying to rise above the stress that has built up over time. She doesn’t want to keep doing the same thing and hoping for a different outcome, for that would be insanity. She will not be afraid, even when those she loves the most let her down…She has to turn things around, she often feels overwhelmed and heavy with so many changes in so little time. She wonders why at times she is treated like she committed a crime when all she did, wants to do and needs to do is be herself. There is such a place where she can be herself; for she knows it well, it is deep inside her soul. She has been, it is a place where she can laugh, smile and enjoy just being at peace with those around her. How freeing it is to be accepted…we should never take for granted the relationships we have with those who love us…who really love us and don’t waste precious time criticizing or fault-finding. Life is too short, leave words of love rather than words of fear or anger; for tomorrow is not promised.”

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When I wrote this piece, I was having some inner turmoil, I knew that my life needed to change and soon. I have been a master at disguising my pain behind a smile, a laugh and even telling myself that I was okay when deep down, I wasn’t. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t just “be happy” with everything that I had in my life. But there are two things that cannot long be hidden; the moon and the truth…My truth was trying so hard to come out, but I suppressed it…and I suffered when I suppressed it…many things have changed in my life since, but it is truly an ongoing road for me…the journey has not ended, it has begun and I have been going places I never even imagined. I allowed myself to shine from the inside out, and it feels so freeing, so alive, so right. I love the woman I have become so far, she is a testament to BEing authentic and real.

The path of the Twins

My beautiful Gemini Twin…I came to see you, making my rounds…had to see you and share a laugh or two…little did I know that there would be more in store…I would feel your words deep down to my core. You must have sensed what I needed to hear that night and a poem from your collection, you did openly share. As I listened intently, something struck me so suddenly…it was as if the words you had written were all about me. I looked up at you, tears streaming down my face…and you held my hand and it seemed to hold my soul in place. You said to me, “I know,” and at that point, I released…knowing that crying was okay in that beautiful space. I was so grateful to my Sister for sharing with me, words of wisdom from her own journey. She somehow knew what I needed to hear, words that would bring me even farther away from fear. Eternally grateful for the moment and lesson, and knowing that she and I have a blessed connection. I love you, my dear Sistar, Makeeba; you are the Abstract Oracle.

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She shines…evermore

Some days, I really don’t mind being misunderstood…for it is a testament to my life’s journey. Not everyone is meant to understand the destiny, the path that I am on and it is okay. I have memories of dimming my light to allow others to shine brightly, but then I began to “blend in” so to speak. My light became one in the same with those around me…One day, however, sparks of blue, pink, bright yellows and greens illuminated from within. I was a living kaleidoscope of new dreams, truths and beautiful realizations of who I am and all that I could think of was filling my spirit with more colorful experiences…

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There is now nothing more to fear other than fear itself. When I was afraid to shine my light in previous occasions, I was afraid of myself…afraid of reactions, intrigue and rejection to the Goddess I was becoming and am still blossoming into…

Inner peace

Let it go…release whatever you are holding onto into the ethers. It can be easier said than done at times, but it is not impossible. When we get attached to what has always been and change becomes inevitable, there is an internal conflict within; we know we need to move through a phase but we are afraid of the unknown. I don’t want to fight to be right, I just want to know what it is like to be free, open and filled with my truth. For that is my calling, to live my truth, embrace it, trust it and flow with it.

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The “Awakening”

And then, it happened…I felt the pull of my innermost desires to live the life of a woman uninhibited, unafraid and filled with colorful, divine experiences. There was always an inkling, a reminder of how life could be if I opened up and set myself free. 

 

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As I take the time to write with more passion and purpose, I feel a new part of myself coming into being.

 

 

She has no fears, yet she takes careful strides. The waters are her ever cleansing hope especially when she visits the sea. She hears and sees nature unfolding around her and she notes when there is a message to be learned. She sensually embraces her mind, body and spirit and desires to seek how high love can reach. This is evident in how she looks in her own eyes each day, knowing that she is worthy of the same love that she has so graciously given to others. She knows that self love is healing to her deep down where she once felt unworthy. The Sun, her light of day nourishes her soul and the garden she grows. Her hands dig deep into the earth, she is ever fascinated by how the glowing warm energy initiates and sustains life. She has a deeper understanding of her emotions, feeling ever so connected to the Moon’s call…She does not always seek attention, yet she always seeks the connection with nature, other women and her daughters at those intuitive times. She is not fearful or apprehensive of her tears, she sheds them as needed, feeling lighter with each warm flow from her eyes. 

all things beautiful