Summer Lovin’! We are fastly approaching Summer Solstice, the time when it is oh so official that summer is here to stay, at least for a few months. I am a summer baby, and I love all things related to this beautiful season. I like feeling more freed up from restricting schedules and planning fun excursions with my girls. Perusing the libraries for events, checking out books to plan new hobbies, beach days and traveling are some of my favorite things to do. There is so much more time to laugh and make precious memories. The fireflies dance their sensual dance in the night sky, cicadas sing to us and the sunsets seem so much more lovely as the days end.
Summer is such a luscious time…gardens flourish and flowers are in full bloom; proud of their beautiful petals and strong roots. We flourish too as the sun warms us from outside in.
I am in my element during summer…
I want to share some things that have been happening in my life. First of all, I deleted my Facebook account! I have deactivated my account before and stayed off of it for a few weeks…but I would go back. A couple of weeks ago, I simply deleted it and haven’t turned back. It was time to just go through with it…Things seemed so stagnant for me on Facebook. I honestly felt like I was drowning in a sea of folks whose faces I have never even seen, yet they could see so much of my private life. Yes, it was helpful to have ways that I could control my account, but that’s just it! Facebook was actually controlling my actions subconsciously, more than I felt comfortable with. And I didn’t make the connection until I was fully disconnected from it. Who would notice my absence? What were my days like before I even had an account? I have always enjoyed deep communication, and sharing common interests, it is the stuff of life. I was on Facebook for roughly about ten years. It was fun engaging in conversations with people from all over the world; some which turned into physical friendships and relationships that may have never happened without Facebook.
So honestly, I am thankful for what I gained but I am also observant. You can only squeeze so much juice out of a fruit before it has nothing left, only memories of its sweet nectar. Perhaps I will return but in my own time, and I will start fresh. Facebook wouldn’t be as popular among its users if we took the time to look at our own lives and cherish them. It can be a great deterrent to what is truly important. These days, I am busy getting my writing goals up to par, entertaining more book ideas, gardening, spending time each day giving thanks and checking out other social media platforms. I felt a little sad about my blog posts not being automatically shared via Facebook but then I thought of the new experiences I am destined for. I think about how I have to give birth to a new me; which is timely being that my birthday is very close now.
Often, the biggest decisions are made on the spur of the moment but end up having a great impact on our future. Every minute of our lives counts and how we decide to spend our time is ours to choose. I love that I am growing and changing under the sun; regenerating myself. I didn’t make a big announcement when I decided to delete my account, I just did it. I knew my tribe, my biggest fans, my friends and my heart strings would feel me; even in my unspoken way of going about this. I also didn’t want to impose my decision on others; it was my personal choice and I felt at peace. So that is honestly all that mattered. Cheers!
We know we get under your feet Momma…we know we walk slow when you need us to keep up. Thank you for always being there…and thank you for when you are not. We know you are nearby, watching to see that we are safe, because this world is often a scary place. You give us tests in this life to make sure we will pass. We feel when we have disappointed you and you will not take kindly to sass..We cherish the proud look on your face when we do something right without you asking…how beautiful even are your tears when you are weary and unsure, for we know your love is never conditional; it is beautiful and pure. Precious like the day we first met, lovely as a sunset…We love you Momma💛
Nature readily teaches me that I am connected to everything and everything comes back to center…Flourishing in the warm sun, thanking the birds for their songs…Each day is a new beginning.
I cannot see the whole path, but I know I am going the right way…
Journey completing, coming to an end…but a soft whisper in my ear lets me know my joy is anxiously awaiting to begin…No more wondering and wishing…the pathway is so clear…the sound of laughter, my own; permeates my whole being…I am so ready to begin sensuously living…without fear. Watering my soul, filling me and making me whole…swimming with the current instead of against it.
“Don’t indulge yourself in the passion of anger, it is whetting a sword to wound your own breast or murder your friend” *Akhenaton
…I am a peaceful soul, but I remember times when my anger would get the best of me. I would think something was wrong with me as I’d soak my cheeks in hot tears…often times my emotions truly were played around with and it would hurt me, then anger me. I’d pick up whatever object was near me and sling it angrily, yes, I would…I really do try to control my anger when I feel it. It is definitely not a bad emotion or something we should hurry up and move through…we should always acknowledge when we are angry because it is necessary. It is how we process anger that makes or breaks us…who hasn’t said a word to someone out of anger and regretted it afterward or done worse? I am pretty sure we all have. There was anger in my little heart for a while when I was a young girl, I think it was a defense mechanism for having been made fun of in school, witnessing things that were wrong and painful and feeling powerless about it all…it hurt. Some folks made me feel like it was wrong to be angry, they’d tell me my face will stay in a frown if I don’t smile more; I kept frowning…
I will never forget the angels in my path that helped me to realize that it is okay and healthy to be angry. There’s not a soul out there that is happy all of the damn time…we live in a world where we cannot even begin to control others, the things that go on around us or the things we hear folks say or see them do…and yes, many times we find ourselves immersed in anger! We may get furious over simple things as well, like being stuck in traffic or worse; getting a parking ticket. But again, it is all about moving through the energy of anger in a way that doesn’t bring us down. Anger is most definitely a beneficial emotion; it protects us, alerts us to what is wrong in our world, and tests us. I have been tested many times and had to retake the tests to prove that I could be angry and okay. I write, I take a walk, I cry, I yell, I hold a crystal close to my heart, I meditate, pray for guidance or go to sleep when I am angry…usually these things work…but sometimes, I just need time, silence and patience with myself to move through. I know my limits, I know that my temper is great for things I am passionate about and for that, I don’t apologize. I do as much as I can to nurture my soul especially in these times. It is a must to balance anger out with other healthy emotions, and so it is.
…I have been sleeping on myself and my writing capabilities. Writing hits me so strong, like a gust of wind in my face and I can’t even try to turn from it. Why would I? I think I have been hesitant of the kind of whirlwind I would be in once I go at it full force…but I am oh so ready. I have nothing but high hopes. I want to start a new page, a page that will help to educate women on the magic of their bodies, I desire to publish an E book on some of my poems that I’ve held so deep inside but need to share. I even would like to write about how sunshine and music heals the soul. I have started by following other writers and getting advice on how to keep up momentum. I am very excited about all of these aspirations and I look forward to the day when I can literally veg out and write my life away! But it takes persistence and dedication to my craft. I know I am damn good at what I do. I write in a way that impresses even me…and I am my own worst critic! Fear has no place in this writing game. It is either do it or don’t. So I’m gonna choose to write every day, even if it’s a few sentences in my journal…at least it is something. I am inspired by almost anything…because everything has reason, history, purpose and desire…
I guess the best advice I could give myself is to follow the passion of my soul. Everything touches me in some way and I yearn to write about it and I usually do. It’s so healing to write, to put my thoughts down and reflect.