Just one more day…of Mercury’s retrograde, the first of this New Year and wow was it transitional for me. Usually, I go about my normal routine when I know a retrograde in Mercury is pending and I try very hard to be patient with myself. I’m a Gemini sun sign with Virgo rising and my Mercury is in Gemini, this is major for me! My three R’s come into play during the retrograde period; relax, review and remain calm as much as I can. However, during this particular retrograde, a new “R” came about; a reawakening. I was not expecting to invest so much emotionally during this retrograde, but I did, which was strengthening in a way. Especially connecting with my inner child and addressing things that caused painful memories. Creating a ritual that honored my little girl self gave way to forgiveness and allowing more room into my heart space for new experiences and love.
It was almost surreal; friends that I hadn’t seen in years came to my hometown and we connected, remembering times that seemed so far away from now. We shared laughs and stories of how we met, while watching our children interacting together as if time had never stopped for them. I thought of times when my life was transitioning and unfolding into new experiences; such as motherhood and so much more. Images, flashbacks and moments that have passed over the years suddenly were at the forefront of my life again as I remembered who I was, and who I still am but in a different capacity. I was deeply immersed in documentaries, books and discussions about the mystical aspects of life during this retrograde as well, just wanting to go deeper.
There was silence, yet my mind was noisy with thoughts that had never left me. I honored those memories and also honored the time I needed for clarity. I went to bed early some nights, wanting to write but not knowing how to get it all out. The inevitable feelings of anxiety about things I had been so sure of before the retrograde were tapping me on my shoulder for a different perspective and it was kind of exhausting. But I knew that trusting the process has been the best way forward so far. Thankfully the full moon in Leo was a very robust, joyful, enlightening and jovial moon and her balance was so welcome during this retrograde. So, while this time has most definitely been a major journey inward, I will relish the memories of it all as I make my way forward.