Reflecting on the Past, loving the Present; embracing the Future

I wrote this piece some time ago…I took it out and read it today, feeling so drawn to the words and also reflective; noting the changes that have taken place since I’ve written this…

“She is a “good” woman by society’s standards; she is happily married, with two beautiful children, lives in a wonderful community, works part-time, writes in her spare time and loves to go out with her friends when she has “free” time. She feels so blessed and thankful for such a rich life. Family and friends that are as close to her heart as the moon is to the stars. She ponders life often, wonders about its mysteries and feels excited about its many possibilities. She does her best to stay in the moment, enjoying the sunshine, the joy; going through the rain and sometimes the pain. Learning that sometimes, instead of trying to stay dry, she should let the rain pour over her and through her soul, symbolically cleansing what might be stagnant and old. The thing is, she settles; she makes excuses for herself and later regrets them, always masking how she really feels…She is trying to rise above the stress that has built up over time. She doesn’t want to keep doing the same thing and hoping for a different outcome, for that would be insanity. She will not be afraid, even when those she loves the most let her down…She has to turn things around, she often feels overwhelmed and heavy with so many changes in so little time. She wonders why at times she is treated like she committed a crime when all she did, wants to do and needs to do is be herself. There is such a place where she can be herself; for she knows it well, it is deep inside her soul. She has been, it is a place where she can laugh, smile and enjoy just being at peace with those around her. How freeing it is to be accepted…we should never take for granted the relationships we have with those who love us…who really love us and don’t waste precious time criticizing or fault-finding. Life is too short, leave words of love rather than words of fear or anger; for tomorrow is not promised.”

see_you_tomorrow___by_kzirb-d331xo9

When I wrote this piece, I was having some inner turmoil, I knew that my life needed to change and soon. I have been a master at disguising my pain behind a smile, a laugh and even telling myself that I was okay when deep down, I wasn’t. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t just “be happy” with everything that I had in my life. But there are two things that cannot long be hidden; the moon and the truth…My truth was trying so hard to come out, but I suppressed it…and I suffered when I suppressed it…many things have changed in my life since, but it is truly an ongoing road for me…the journey has not ended, it has begun and I have been going places I never even imagined. I allowed myself to shine from the inside out, and it feels so freeing, so alive, so right. I love the woman I have become so far, she is a testament to BEing authentic and real.

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2 thoughts on “Reflecting on the Past, loving the Present; embracing the Future

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