“Motherhood is a sacred dance; a second chance to see the purity in our being.”~Lisalotusqueen
I am not my past mistakes…Lately, I have felt the need to resonate with this mantra when I hear my ego whispering in my ear, “Haven’t you been down this road before?” My spirit counteracts this energy with “you are not who you used to be; “you have grown and are still growing, like a beautiful flower.”
As mothers, we are caretakers, matchmakers, lovers, creators; we can do so much. But, we are also prone to being “superwoman” during our journey as mothers, needing to take care of everything at all times. I had chosen this way of being and did it effortlessly, or so I thought. I was burning myself out and didn’t even realize until the signs became loud and clear.
Growing a tiny human as a woman and then growing that same child as a mother is one of the most misunderstood yet amazing feats ever taken in life. I have caught myself feeling overwhelmed at the prospect before me and became doubtful more often than not. “You are such a wonderful mother, your children are so sweet, you are doing a great job!” Those are strengthening words to a mother but if she doubts herself, they won’t matter too much. I have felt unsure often, but I thrived off of the peace I felt within, knowing I was doing my best. It has been easy most days, but difficult as well. I felt the need to hide my tears; I’m not supposed to cry about this! I have this motherhood thing down like a science…and I do, I know how to expertly care for my children. I love them endlessly, I feed them healthy foods so they can grow big and be well, we head out to the park for hours of play, and we read bedtime stories almost every night. But what about the times when I don’t have a quick remedy or I feel uncertain? I realized the best thing I could do in those moments was allow my children to see me in my vulnerability. When we can reveal that side to our children, the connection we have with them is more genuinely felt. After all, don’t many children readily express their emotions with us on a daily basis without any inhibitions?
My children have seen me grieve, cry, laugh and even be scared and I’m proud to say that. I’m a human being first and foremost; with a range of emotions and imperfections. I used to think that somehow I had to push all of that under a rug for their sake, and I have, many times. I wanted them to know that I would not fall apart, I would keep it together, even if I had to pretend for a while. Their peace of mind was extremely important to me and still is. But what we forget is how resilient children are, we really don’t give them credit for the tenacity they possess.
My children know and sense the protective lioness energy in their mama, but they also know that I have been weak. So on Mother’s day, I salute us and send precious love to all mothers on this unforgettable journey. We are stronger than we know but it is also okay for us to express our emotions. Motherhood seems to be under-appreciated in the West, and it is pretty evident. We have to jump through many hoops when we begin wearing that title, and why? We really thrive so much better when we have a sense of being; of community that upholds us in our role as mothers and encourages us. The dance of motherhood is a sacred dance, we see our children through many stages in life; infancy, childhood, adolescence and finally adulthood. We do all of this without clear guidance as to what to do in each stage; we learn by trial and error very often. We are unique, extraordinary and amazing women to be able to balance all of that and more. Motherhood is undoubtedly one of the greatest mysteries of life. Relating to our children in all stages of their lives as we enter different stages in our own lives is a testament to our depth and capabilities as mothers.