An Ode to What Once Was…

We have loved so deeply (our partners) in very similar circumstances…We were mothers and wives, trying to figure out love and our lives; we gave the best of ourselves, I think. Even though we too were on the brink of discovering who we truly wanted to be.

And slowly but surely, our love was taken for granted. It was tested, shaken, easily accessed, possessed and pushed away…But…

It was also cherished, made to be committed to, reminded of by our youths and the seasons in our youthful years before we were ever shedding tears; young love.

It was the first half of our lives that pretty much demanded everything we had in us…and we gave. Through our heart, soul and spirit we did. We aren’t above having made mistakes but our hearts have ALWAYS come from a pure place.

Off the clock

I’ve been off work for the last two weeks and it has felt so so good. I’ve realized that I need to make some big changes in my life and in how I use my energy. I had a chance to visit some family back home in Maryland, spend some quality time with my daughters, rearrange my living room and get my garden together. I actually don’t even want to go back to work, like at all lol. I went to the library a few days ago and stocked up on some National Geographic magazines; some older editions which I am currently immersed in. It just feels so damn good to be doing me right now. The New Moon in Leo has been a huge catalyst for invoking within me a fire that will burn away anything that doesn’t serve me and my purpose. I need to be doing more to satiate my life with joy…and I’ve come to understand just how much frustration can wreak havoc on our lives if we are not living out our purpose.

Moon in Leo Goddess

I went to a town hall meeting regarding the sale of some beautiful farmland that is to be turned into a new “gated community.” A woman by the name of Mrs. Mackensie has been tilling the land for many years. And just like that, it may be sold from under her. I went to visit her farm and I sat and chatted with her for a while as she ate her lunch. She said she hadn’t bought produce from a store in over five years…she had been eating what she grows all those years. She said she has faith because she knew this day would come. I wanted to hug her, she had such a gentle yet wise disposition about her. A true earth angel…she told me I was free to explore the farm and I did. I walked among the land, grounding myself with every step. Thinking of how terrible it is to build on farmland for the sake of over priced homes. I silently prayed for a better outcome. It was so quiet and serene; the palms swayed in the breeze, banana trees hung, ripe with fruit and papaya trees stood high in the sun. I even saw a peacock 🦚. Such a beautiful and magical place indeed. I vowed that I will always treat the land with respect.

It’s disgusting how our natural areas are being swarmed upon by hungry wasp like developers eager to make more money and not caring about future generations. Sometimes I think about living in the country and getting away from the clock, civilization and their silly, stupid ways…and just simply living off the land. I see that for myself, perhaps when I become an elder like Mrs. Mackensie.

I think life is just too precious to be wasted on monotony. Repetition will suck the life out of your soul and one day you wake up old and with regrets that you lived yours with no purpose. That will NOT be my story. Salute to the life givers of this world.✨👑💛

I’m ready for something new…

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I could book a one way ticket somewhere new and just…begin again, where nobody knows my name…It’s a new feeling, one that I am allowing myself to sit with.

What should I do? Where could I go? The world is such a different place now but the spirit of adventure still lies in the pit of my soul. I dream about learning new ideas outside of my own, waking up in a bed and breakfast in the mountains, snorkeling in the islands and speaking new languages…I feel like it’s time. I am a horse waiting to gallop free…

Forty four

Yesterday I turned forty four😊

I’m thankful to see another year, celebrate with my loved ones and salute this year with great expectations…44 seems quite regal, exciting and magical; I can feel it. Angel numbers, and it’s funny because I see 4:44 on the clock all the time…Ohhh and the place I went to eat yesterday with my family had a wedding taking place outside. It was so sweet and I had a brief moment to salute the bride. I said “I feel so special knowing there was a wedding on my birthday!” She said it was also her mother’s birthday…which I thought was so special. It was a gorgeous day out and we ate at a restaurant by the water, which I loved!

I saw a post the other day about Gemini women and it was soooo on point! It read; they have the soul of a witch; which to me, means they are ethereal and seem to age backwards! They have the heart of a lioness, and the mouth of a sailor! Hehe, no lies detected! I could agree with all of that…those who know me, knowww!

Birthday girl 🥳

So I am here, celebrating this wild, memorable and beautiful life with those near and far…I’m excited about what’s to come. ♊️😊🙏🏾

Butterfly…

I’ve missed seeing your beautiful orange and black wings…I wondered where you could be as I didn’t notice any tiny caterpillars last month or the month prior…But you’ve been delighting me as of late with your presence! It’s like you could hear my call; and you came at just the right time. My garden is not ever the same unless I see you, my sweet beloved butterfly…How thankful I am to have plants growing that you enjoy fluttering to. It might seem minuscule to some but it is so big for me! You remind me that I must never hide my wings, and to fly so high no matter what. You are such a treasure to me.💚🦋✨

Allow me to reintroduce myself…

My name is Lisa…mama, nature lover, gardener, lover of animals and children; all things fleeting and innocent. I am most at home away from it all; hence my reason for loving nature. In ANY city, I promise you, I will find a respite from humanity lol. Trails nestled deep within some tall trees are my favorite, but I love a good park as well. Anywhere I can hear myself think, or create something beautiful inside my mind, just for me. Daydreaming abounds as I look around and see sky, or hear birds chirping away…and there’s nobody saying anything! This time makes for an excellent writing mood because I feel so inspired by nature.

Lisa💛

I swear my secret power is shape shifting into a faerie…I’ve never been afraid of the forest and all the secrets she holds. I pay attention to every single detail when planting seeds…like, I’m literally in awe! I love examining roots, leaves and flower petals…I love capturing them with pictures as well.

I am soon to be an empty nester which feels somewhat sad and overwhelming! But exciting too…either way, it’s not like I won’t be a mom any more, but being a mom to nearly adult children has definitely begun to feel different. So I’d better find more things to keep me busy; go exploring, write more, and just relish this time like never before…

So, back to my intro; I am a Gemini in every part of my soul. I’ve always felt young at heart and able to relate to every stage of childhood my girls were in. The teenage stage was challenging, but laughter really helped a sister out lol…And now here we are; my loves, nearly grown up and expressing themselves so eloquently in this life. Makes me very proud indeed. When I look at them, I know I’ve done something right!!🙏🏾🦋🦋💘💘

Stay tuned for more delightful posts…after all, what’s a writer doing with all this newfound extra time and not writing?💋🌹👌🏾

Be bold in your convictions

I will be 44 in June…so much has come to light for me. I feel brazen, aware and ready to tackle life more than I ever have. I have come too far to not celebrate life in a new refreshing way and it feels damn good. Off I go in the sunshine to collect what’s mine…

Isn’t she lovely?

My favorite girl; mama moon…she makes me swoon at her beauty. Super jolted by the magic and balance of the Libra full moon. So much in my life needs balance right now. I am happy to even acknowledge that fact; whereas it was taking resentment and a persistent nudging from my subconscious to let me know this…I am realizing that I can shed light on the things that just aren’t for me anymore. And that makes for moving more authentically and swiftly.

I’m ready for it all…as I took the ocean air into my lungs and breathed it out, it was so pure, so cleansing…honestly made my heart sing. I have this newfound lease on life, realizing it’s MY LIFE and I can and should be very picky with whom I share my energy.

A change

It’s time…time to think about changing my life path; I’m talking THE WORKS! New mindset, new job, different friends with ideas that will change the world for the better. I’ve been feeling like a hamster on a wheel for a while now…running around in circles for everyone else and going nowhere fast. I don’t like that depleted feeling I’ve been feeling. Today I am writing and it feels damn good because it’s been awhile yet…I want a job that gives me more freedom to travel, spend time in nature and enjoy my family. I see it all beginning to unfold and I feel confident that everything will fall into place…

Cali trip
San Francisco
Oakland

My experience

My experience is not all that matters; I may feel that the Earth has shattered beneath my feet, because nobody has hurt so deeply inside like me. But then, I cannot choose to ignore what someone else has overcome to be here, to have a spirit so strong that they choose life. I am not my past, I’ve tried to live fast and slow down when it felt right to do so. But life has held my hand; twirled me around and sat me back down. Hard. I prefer soft landings but there’s something so substantial about those hard ones…builds me up in virtue, strength and wisdom. I pray every day to learn to listen better and observe even more. Life has stripped me to my core and then built me back up again. I love who I am becoming; more gentle with myself, more accepting. At one point, I was a very harsh critic of my heart; ashamed of how she loved so deeply and true. But if that was not a part of who I am today, I’d be very blue…sad, withdrawn and out of my element. Love is me and everyone has a story that made them realize love has been them as well, all along. Nothing was really ever needed to prove our worth, we’ve just made ourselves believe that lie. Love is how we move unscathed by the world’s harshest of treatment. If we don’t pause and think about this; we will suffer needlessly. It’s in the way I see life go on through stories of triumph, that make me feel that my experience has molded me into who I am.💜